creativity

 I'm trying to write. I so badly want to continue telling The Brief History but it's so hard. I try to do as my therapist told me; letting go of my expectations and just writing. Putting down words without giving too much thoughts about them. It's hard. So, so hard. My creativity is like a scared, wild animal. Everytime I try to catch it, it slips out of my hands and hides further away from me. What am I supposed to do with this writer block? How can I fight it? 

I tried writing non-related stuff but it didn't work. Same goes for writing little snippets of my story, not caring of where or when they're supposed to stand in the timeline. I feel like nothing works. How am I supposed to call myself a writer when I can't fight against the writer block, ADHD, depression and autism beating my ass? I thought it was because of my meds but I don't think it's the truth. I have to find a way out of this. I have to find something to get me to write again. 

I really, really miss the times when I could write and write and write and write with little to no worries about what I put down. I was just writing everything in my head, directly down on the paper. Or my phone's notes app. Then I started to lose myself. I hope I'll find my spark back soon. Please. 

At least, I can write on here again. This whole rebranding of my blog really helped me with that. If only I could find something similar to do with my story! But it's not like I want to give up on these characters or write something else. I love them so dearly, I want to give them my all...